So...although it's a little more than 3 months away, I have officially crossed the line. It was like overnight, I was absolutely terrified! Well...maybe not overnight...Let me explain my weekend.
My mom was in town to try on my wedding dress for the first time. I was so nervous. Nervous I wouldn't like it. Nervous it wouldn't fit. Nervous nervous nervous. Well, it didn't fit but not how one would think. It's too short.
For anyone out there that understands clothing, you simply can't make too short things become long enough. You can't add fabric. It's like cutting hair, once it's done it's done. I think about it and my stomach turns. The first day when I thought about it, I would cry. It's not the way you are supposed to feel about a wedding dress and to be quite frank, I felt ripped off. Ripped off from my experience of getting to have tears and attention at how beautiful I look in my dress. I can barely remember how I looked I was so preoccupied with my feet!!
Now that it's been a day or so, I feel a little better. In the grand scheme of life, this is a very small piece and things could be so much worse. The dress could be stained or 5 sizes too small. Someone I love could be sick or hurting this close to my wedding. I know the bridal salon will make this right one way or the other and I just have to have faith that it will all work out and focus on the positive. Or, at least that's what I keep telling myself....
Anyway, this small moment has given me a sense of overwhelming anxiety. I'm scared things aren't going to come together. Do I have enough decorations planned? Do I have enough rooms booked? Will all my vendors come through? I think about all that is left to do and I feel like I can't breathe!
I think most brides probably feel this way but don't want to admit it. I know how hard it is to explain because when you say you're nervous people assume it's about the marriage. I know I'm ready to marry the boy. I was ready 4 years ago...but I'm nervous my vision won't look the way it's supposed to. I know it's trivial, but I can't help it. So much pressure around 1 single day!
To end on a positive note, we had our cake tasting and it was perfect. I'm so excited about our cake you wouldn't believe it! We are pretty sure of our flavors and I think it's going to be absolutely perfect!
I'll keep you posted on the dress fiasco...think positive for me. I need some reassurance!
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